Zoey's nightmare
by ellis4zoey
Summary: Zoey has been married to Ellis for nearly ten years, and they have three children. But the past is still haunting her.


One glance at the alarm clock told Zoey it was past 3 AM. She had been trying to get back to sleep for some time. Right next to her, fast asleep, was her husband Ellis, the man she had met during the zombie apocalypse, now almost ten years ago.

Zoey got up out of bed and got herself a glass of orange juice. It was mid-summer and despite the hour, it was still scorching hot both outside and inside. She was thinking about all the things that had changed in her life in all those years.

The first several years after the she had been plagued with a recurring nightmare. Almost every night she would re-live seeing her parents die right in front of her, as had happed in real life. After five years, when some semblance of normalcy had returned to the world, the nightmare had stopped.

At the time Zoey hadn't given it much thought, but now she was trying to figure out why it had returned. It couldn't have anything to do with her three children, in fact she had always believed that having had her kids had helped end the nightmares.

Also, it couldn't have been Ellis. He was so sweet and caring, showering her and the children with all the attention he could give. Right in his arms is where she liked to be, the only warm place she had known during the infection.

She could not forget how cold she had been at the time, and sneaking in next to him on his bunk had been the best way to stop the cold. He had instinctively put his arm around her, and she hadn't stopped him despite that he was a stranger to her, because the warmth he provided was what she needed then.

But now, she was sitting up in bed, thinking, worrying. She knew Ellis wasn't going to wake up as he rarely woke during the night, being a fast sleeper. Her mind started to focus on the recent argument she had with him.

About a week ago, their oldest child, Billy, had asked her if they could eat at Coach Burger, the new fast-food chain, but she had refused that day, saying that she had already spent time preparing dinner at home. It had seemed to her that Billy had accepted her argument.

But behind her back, Billy had gone to Ellis and asked about Coach Burger, and Ellis in his enthusiasm had agreed to take him and his sister Lina to his old friend Coach's restaurant. Zoey had been furious to find out. She accused Ellis of not checking with her, and Ellis had countered that he had assumed it was alright since Billy had told him that she had approved it.

That was now almost a week ago. When Ellis and her two oldest children had been gone to Coach Burger, she had cried. Later that evening, after the children were put to bed, Ellis had put his arms around her and asked her if she was still angry about it. He had promised to make it up to her. That night, the nightmare returned.

And it hadn't returned just once, she had the nightmare all week since. Now she was sitting in bed, looking at her sleeping husband. She was still madly in love with him, his natural yet clumsy charms and goofy smile had captured her attention all those years ago.

But one thing was undeniably true, Zoey now realized. Her kids were gravitating towards Ellis. He was always saying yes to anything they wanted, and she ever more imagined they saw her as the wicked step-mother who would always say no.

Suddenly she decided that she needed to talk to Ellis. It took a few minutes for her to manage to wake him up. She switched on one of the lights and sat right back down on bed, next to him. Ellis looked at his wife, wondering why she woke him up in the middle of the night.

"Angel, what's the matter?"

"Ellis, I've been thinking about last week…"

"Zo, I'm still sorry, I just thought I was doing the kids a favor, I really thought that Billy asked you, I'm sorry I didn't check…"

"Ellis, I know you didn't do it deliberately. But I'm scared, Ellis. I'm scared the same thing is happening to me that happened to my mother."

That remark caught Ellis's full attention. What did she mean by that? Before he could ask anything she continued.

"I was never close to my mother, Ellis. I think I told you I was kind of a daddy's girl…"

"It's not your fault, Zoey. What happened is not your fault."

"That's not what I mean, Ellis. The thing is, I now realize that all this time she wanted nothing but the best for me. She tried so hard to build a relationship with me. I had to choose between police academy and university. My mom is the one who helped me get a scholarship. My dad kept saying I should go to police academy. Mom was so happy when I chose university."

"I am not sure I understand yet, Zo."

"Mom must have been so disappointed when she found out I hadn't done much at all during the first semester. She had seen the letter I had received from the dean, telling me to improve my attendance and grades, or have my scholarship revoked. It must have been terrible for her to see that letter."

Ellis looked at Zoey, it was clear she was trying to hold her tears in. Very slowly he put his arm around her.

"Ellis, it was the last thing she knew of me. And I can never make it up to her. And I now realize the same thing is happening to me that happened to her. It's like I cannot connect to our children. Ellis. I try so hard but it doesn't seem to work. My mom must have had the same feeling. It's a nightmare, Ellis."

Ellis didn't know what to say, by now his wife was crying her heart out. He tried his best to comfort her.

"Zoey, I'm sorry, I didn't know. I never realized… I mean… it's just so hard for me to say no to our kids. But now you make me see the effect it has on you. I'm so sorry. We can work on this Zo. I love you and I don't like seeing you sad."

Carefully, Ellis caressed his wife and she laid down right next to him on his side of the bed. It reminded him of the first night after they had met, when she had snuck in with him.

"Zoey, I promised to share everything with you, nearly ten years ago now. I make this promise to you, I will also share the less pleasant things of parenting with you, like saying no to our kids. You were absolutely right when you said last week that raising children is also about saying no sometimes, and teaching about responsibility. I promise, angel."

Zoey sniffed away her last tear. "I know you want the best for all of us Ellis. I do love you so. Please hold me this night."

* * *

_And with that this story ends. I guess I just wanted to say that even if Ellis and Zoey get together after the zombie apocalypse, they are also going to have arguments and differences, as will inevitably happen within any relationship._

_Not everything in a relationship is always as smooth as we would like it to be. And saying no to your kids can sometimes be hard. When one parent is always accomodating the other parent can seem to the kids to be the wicked step-mother (or step-father)._

_In this story, Zoey's nightmare is not the one she has about seeing her parents die, it is about not being able to connect to her children, at least in her experience._


End file.
